Midget sex pt 2 tonight
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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