I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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