i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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