Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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