just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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