i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
