Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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