We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
