I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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