i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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