i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
