I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When did angry sex become our thing?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
