Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I just sharted jello shots
True college students do jello shots in the library
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