12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
