I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
