She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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