the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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