i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
