it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
