Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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