Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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