: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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