What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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