When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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