i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this hospital has no fireball
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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