she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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