i jhust puked up my retainher.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
