so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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