maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
