You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you have feelings for this penis?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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