We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
