Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize