My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
why is half of my head shaved?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
