Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down