suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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