the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im holly from the hills drunk
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
