you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They are going to name an STD after you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
