And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
