The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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