I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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