I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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