If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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