also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
