We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
