OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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