apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize