I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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