Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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