I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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