Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
