erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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