If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
