sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
