you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
