My hand turned me down
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
