You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize