I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
