Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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